Turn the Key and Keep Driving Towards Your Dreams

I live in an urban neighborhood where cars line the streets, and people vie for parking spots in front of their homes. The other day while driving home from the grocery store with one of my daughters I pointed to our house from a block away. I asked her if it looked like there were any parking places in front of our house. She said no. I told her to keep watching. 


We approached our house and pulled into a more than ample parking spot. I asked her if she noticed anything and she replied, "Yes! When we were far away it looked like all the parking spots were taken. As we got closer it looked like there was a really small spot. And then  as we pulled up to the house I saw that there was enough room for at least two cars." I smiled and explained how perspective changes with proximity. 


For a long, long time I have not bothered to dream because, as I have recently discovered, I had a subconscious belief that dreams are not actually attainable, and venturing to dream sets me up for disappointment. I have illogically believed that success was something that happened to people by luck, not something that was achieved through diligence and tenacity.


Some of the main reasons this has been believable to me for a vast majority of my life have to do with perspective. Since I rarely allowed myself uninhibited dream play, I had nothing to gather information about. I told myself I was allowing the universe to guide me. What was really going on was that while I had gotten into the car, I was not turning the ignition key. Since I was not going anywhere, my perspective was limited. 


Not allowing one's self to dream is like getting into a car without turning the key. Without starting the car you will never arrive anywhere new. Every once in a while I would venture to dream, but I saw the goal from such a great distance that I was sure there was no way that I could fit into that dream spot (I told myself I didn't have the education, brains, creativity, talent, organizations skills, blah, blah, blah...)–In twelve step programs this type of thinking is called contempt prior to investigation. 


On the other hand, allowing one's self the freedom to dream is like turning the key and watching as a desire to reach a destination ignites. Departing, you have a purpose in mind. As you move towards your dream and catch a glimpse of your destination, anxiety may arise because it may look as if there are few or no spots available for you–remember this is a limited perspective and KEEP GOING! As you get closer to your goal/dream more spaces for your talents will inevitably open. Just as cars continuously pull in and out of parking spots, venues, job opportunities, workshops, and exhibit spaces continuously become available. 


While dreams are internal guides from the universe, they are not meant to be set in stone. Sometimes as you approach your "ideal" parking spot you may realize that space is not as perfect as you had once thought–perhaps there is a broken bottle there, or bees swarming over a spilled soda. Similarly, as you begin to approach the realization of your dream you may sense that something slightly different or better is calling. Heed that inspiration. While dreams are a compass for your heart's desire, they are not necessarily meant to be rigid assigned parking spots.  


Marvelous adventures are awaiting us! 


Turn the ignition key and begin dreaming with wild abandonment! 


Start driving towards your dreams and watch as your perspective shifts. 


If you sense discouragement setting in, remember that as you inch closer to your destination more will be revealed. 


Keep chugging on and have faith.


I have begun driving towards my dreams. I hope to see you on that road too. If I do, I will be sure to honk and wave! XO


"To the person who does not know where he wants to go there is no favorable wind." ~Seneca


"A philosophy of life: I'm an adventurer, looking for treasure."  ~Paulo Coelho from The Alchemist


"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours" ~Henry David Thoreau

Living in Eternity

Usually when I paint I get inspired then work on the painting all night into the early hours of the morning until I can no longer "see" anything else in the painting, and determine the painting is finished. To be honest, I am usually pretty unsatisfied with these pieces of art; they have potential, but feel not quite "there."


One of my favorite things about life is the ability of experiences to inform each other. For example, I find it amazing how learning to hold a yoga pose can also develop the patience and endurance required to teach my toddler to say "please" and "thank you."  A few months ago I had an epiphany while making art.


It began with a colored pencil sketch of a Native American profile. The image flowed fairly easily and I was pleased with it, but I felt an internal push to continue working on it. I left the picture on the floor and occasionally propped against a chair leg for a week or so, glancing at it every once in a while out of the corner of my eye. Gradually, I began to "see" the next step the piece was "asking" for. 

I began to wait for the images to appear and meet them as they approached. Slowly, I began to see what was to come next, and I began to follow what was being revealed: I had a dream and incorporated an image from that dream; in a certain place I recognized a longing for a movement of energy, and  so I placed some images in this place of yearning. Slowly, the painting began to come alive; it was guiding me and I was dancing with it, listening to its direction with a "third eye" type of sense.


I have heard that the only place that eternity meets time is in the present. When I exist in the moment and listen to the guidance available in the present I realize the next right step. As I take that step in faith, I am rewarded with surprises, gratification, and delight. 


Eventually I was guided to cut out the colored pencil sketch, apply it to a canvas and begin using paints. After several months of working on this piece, more is still being revealed and I am enjoying the process–no hurry. Another realization I had was that if I forced solutions by hurrying to complete the piece it would only result in a scant realization of the piece's "voice" or "soul." 


Though this epiphany came while making a piece of art, I am realizing more and more that the process of creating my life is very similar. I throw some ideas around, get inspired, begin to do the footwork in order to manifest it (make phone calls, do research, take action), and ruminate on it for a while until the next step is revealed. The miraculous part is that the universe works with me through synchronicities, and the same "third eye" type of sense, guiding me with a gentle, yet firm, knowing hand. 


I realize I am still learning about this process. I have a hunch, that similar to developing any new skill,  the more I recognize and use this process in my entire life, the more quickly I will become aware of the next step. Life is a piece of art, and as we begin to listen to and follow the gentle guidance available in the moment, we begin to recognize eternity in each breath, until we suddenly find ourselves living there. 


"The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realization that we are the instruments and expression of God Himself." ~Emmet Fox


"He who binds himself a joy/ Does the winged life destroy./ But he who kisses the joy as it flies/ Lives in eternity's sun rise."  ~William Blake from "Eternity"


"God exists in eternity. The only point where eternity meets time is in the present. The present is the only time there is." ~Marianne Williamson


"Quick, then–open the door and fly on your heavy feet; the song may already be drifting away." ~Mary Oliver from "Such Singing in the Wild Branches"

Releasing Our Voices: Sing Sisters!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/le_korrigan/5016005298/

Dodoma Federation: The Sejeseje group of the Tanzania Federation of the Urban Poor, composed of mostly poor women living in slums, celebrate the purchase of six acres of land in Dodoma, using their own savings, before they start building their houses. Dancing, singing and drum music are always part of such celebrations.

For too long the literal and figurative voices of women have been silenced, and now many of us find ourselves wrestling our tongues free day by day. The voices I speak of are not just sounds rising from our throats, but actions driven from our core, ideas inspired by our spirit. The embodied feminine principle has its own  rhythm, sound, texture– a unique quality often stereotyped as meek, when in fact, receptivity, passion, intuition, innovation, and intensity tend to be the characteristics of the empowered feminine. The world is aching for the voices of women; it is time to claim our voices and heal the planet with our song.

Sometimes the silencer is men, sometimes other women, but more often than not, the silencer is our own selves. Many of us women were raised by women who were just learning that they had voices, but had not yet learned to use or value them. Perhaps we were never told explicitly that women need to hold their tongues, not be so radical, not be confrontational, but the implicit instructions were to be subservient, silent, and passive. To a greater or lesser degree we have internalized these teachings demonstrated by our well-meaning mentors and now find ourselves struggling against our own internal advisor. 

Collectively, we are beginning to truly re-define womanhood, find our voices and use them. The process, however, is volatile, precarious, and somewhat intimidating, both to ourselves and others. As I have watched this process in myself and other women I have noticed that there tends to be a rhythm to the awakening voice. 

First, we stutter. The stuttering may or may not be our literal voices. Often it manifests as an offered idea couched in apprehension and self-deprecation:"This probably sounds crazy..." "It would probably never work, but..." Sometimes this manifests as a women not being able to construct a sentence. If we were able to look inside her head though, we would see magnificent ideas and dreams clouded by an internal advisor's voice whispering, "Don't sound too smart," "That makes no sense," "Don't sound too confident." Figuratively, a woman stuttering looks like projects begun, but not completed, or dreams un-manifested: the stones are arranged in a circle, the kindling is propped for burning, but the fire never comes and the dreamer begins to freeze to death in the absence of her untended passion.

Perhaps the fear of dying scares us, or the frustration of squelching our own ambitions finally gets the better of us. Whatever it is, we can stand it no more and we scream.  We scream at the internal advisor and the external oppressor. We scream to release it all. Eventually no amount of discouragement can keep our thoughts and ideas from erupting; and just like an awakening volcano, the scene can be volatile. Again, the screaming may be literal or something similar:  aggressive remarks, forceful insistence of our beliefs, relentless confrontations. The screaming may also look like radical actions: cutting off or dying our hair, taking dangerous risks, or over-indulgence in alcohol or some other escape.

When the dust settles from the explosion of repressed ideas, thoughts, and dreams, we begin to speak. Gently, we lie the internal advisor down to sleep; we put flowers on her grave; we thank her for her attempts to protect us and save us from a dangerous world. We then begin to reason things out with others who are finding their voices.We may write to hear our own words, or paint just to feel the medium under our brushes, we may dance to feel the pleasure of our bodies, or we may plan a new business. Slowly, we learn to listen and talk with confidence to ourselves and others. Vague ambitions begin to formulate and manifest gracefully and certainly; we begin to put one foot in front of the other to realize our dreams. The hysteria dies down, and the woman refreshed and released begins to allow the passion and direction of the universe to guide her gently, fluidly like a mountain stream.

And as we open ourselves to the universe, we find that our speaking voices begin to be inspired. Yes, it is our voice rising from our lips, but the sound erupts delicious, and attractive... we find ourselves singing! Our voices are our own, but fused with the divine. Our words resonate, sparkle, inspire; our actions bring joy, healing, and hope to a world in despair, pain, and dis-ease. A singing woman pierces through the cacophony of this world and reminds her daughters, her sons, her lovers and her sisters of the divine world from which we come. A singing woman heals the poisoned waters, nurtures the raped earth, protects the animals, and empowers the children with her sweet vibrations. She sings a new song into the hearts of her daughters. Her sons respect her. Her partners revere here. And as she sings she finds it echoes through her thoughts, words, and deeds. 


Sisters, release your voices and sing! Gradually, as each woman finds her voice the world will begin to harmonize, the planet will be made anew, and we will all realize heaven on earth. 


"Of course! the path to heaven doesn't lie down in flat miles. It's in the imagination with which you perceive this world, and the gestures with which you honor it." ~Mary Oliver (from the poem "The Swan")

Sanctioning A Pray Day: a tool for sculpting your life

Neither the pious church goer, nor the priest has a patent on prayer. Prayer is gift given freely to us all by a kind and generous creator. It is a tool the universe longs for us to use. Prayer is our lifeline to the creator, and the vehicle through which we invite the universe to create beauty and blessings in the world through us.  

Several years ago, my life  changed when I read a book written by author, spiritual activist, and lecturer Marianne Williamson. The book, A Return to Love: A Reflection on a Course In Miracles opened a window into a world I had always longed for, but never knew how to access. One way I learned to access that wondrous place of love, beauty, and abundance in my everyday life was through prayer. Like a novice sculptor given her first chisel, I began to pray my way through the marble of my life–the results were breath-taking.

I have found that prayer is a somewhat ironic activity: it gives one confidence, but unless one remains humble one can forget the source of the blessings.

More than once I have given in to my ego: I would pray, have my prayers answered, and my self-confidence would increase. As my self-confidence increased, my ego would begin to inflate. But the thing I have discovered about prayer is that in order for me to ask for God's help, I would need to be humble enough to know that I needed my higher power. Whenever my ego gets too big, I no longer seek  my higher power's wisdom because I think I can handle it all on my own. I convince myself I don't have time to humble myself. And this is how I fall–alone.

When I am not co-creating with the universe, little by little my dreams turn into nightmares of my own making. 

I have been praying lately, but not as much as I would like. So I decided to do an experiment.

Yesterday, I chose to sanction as a "Pray Day". That did not mean that I sat in my house all day and prayed. No, life is dynamic and prayer is meant to be integrated into it. 


The Pray Day was an intention to devote myself to pray before any encounter, before any serious decision, after an argument or uncomfortable feeling, and any time I remembered throughout the day. The resultant peace was remarkable; a reminder to me of how valuable the simple act of prayer is to my life. 

What does praying look like for me? Praying for me takes many forms: when I awaken in the morning I get into child's pose and do a couple of memorized daily prayers turning my will and my life over to the care of God. Throughout the day my prayers may look to others as a deep breath with eyes closed or open; sometimes I open my arms to the sky like a chalice, other times I gaze at the floor, rarely do I clasp my hands in prayer. 

I may pray waiting in line at the grocery store or driving my car. Most of the time my prayers are internal and sound short and intimate: God, please bless my words that they may be truthful and loving; Universe, remind me of your love for me; Great Spirit, protect my children and keep them safe, healthy, and well. God, guide my thoughts and bless my beloved that he may be aware of your love for him. 

In my experience, the universe does not need perfect words or a perfect ritual, only an open heart willing to receive the blessings waiting to be given. Consider experimenting with a Pray Day: a day you invite the universe into every aspect of your life. 


After working with the tool of prayer, I have a suspicion that sculpting your life with your human hands alone will seem like rolling a boulder up a hill waiting for a statue to appear. With the chisel of prayer in your grasp, you may find that with a little tap here and a little tap there, your life will gracefully transform into a wondrous piece of living art. 

"The spiritual path-is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it." ~Marianne Williamson 

"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart." ~Mahatma Gandhi

Valuing the Dreamer

Being a dreamer in a world full of doers can challenge one's sense of worth. Leaving yoga the other night with my daughter I realized this. 


Heading home, my daughter shared how yoga helped her to feel "in her body;" something she struggles with. I completely understand. I often feel like I have to really work to be grounded. Like my daughter, I naturally exist in what I like to think of as the etheric plane... a dreamy place where innovative ideas, images, and words play and morph. 


She then explained how she often felt bad about herself because others have labeled her as "lazy." Here I was reminded of the yoga class we had just left. 


Two physical focuses of yoga are strength and flexibility*. Both are needed to fully actuate any pose, but rarely do individuals naturally possess both. Instead, the aim is to work towards the perfect pose in each moment. Some people are inherently more flexible, and so have to work on strength (like me); others are stronger, so for them becoming more flexible is the challenge. 


In the class we had just left, the teacher was emphasizing being observant of where our bodies were in the moment, without judgment. 


Neither strength, nor flexibility is inherently more valuable. Similarly, neither dreamers, nor doers are more valuable. In order to fully live, we need both. The doer without the dream becomes a frenetic automaton, checking off lists without taking in the snowflake wind. The dreamer without action grows the moss of stagnancy and depression, never actuating his or her brilliance. 


Like the insightful yoga instructor directed us to perceive our practice in the moment without judgment, we can benefit by learning to perceive our entire existence without judgment, one moment at a time. 


While the dreamer may be diminished in a world that revers movers and shakers, we must not forget that the dreamer is fraught with visions that will heal the world when actualized. 
And just as doers need to work on matching their activity with equal parts dreaming, the dreamer must ground and push into action, strengthening their bond to the earth in order to manifest the new world we all long for. 

The dreamer is far from lazy. The activities that takes place in the etheric realms dreamers access are vibrant, dynamic, and just as exhausting as moving one's body in the world. Do not underestimate the dreamers. They are the architects of an emerging consciousness. 

*I, in no way mean to simplify yoga. I understand that yoga has many components, but for the sake of this post I am focusing on these two aspects.

"The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do." ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

"We are all dreamers creating the next world, the next beautiful world for ourselves and for our children." ~Yoko Ono